Someone Who's Been There
My Experience as a Y-ME Partners Match Peer Counselor
By Ron Kennedy
My wife, Bianca, is a Y-ME peer counselor and has mentioned to me that it is not uncommon to hear stories from women whose husbands or partners have shown little support during their fight against breast cancer. Some were more concerned with their own reaction to their partner's loss of a breast (or both breasts) than they were to the suffering of their loved one. Appreciative of my own supportive role in her battle against breast cancer, Bianca suggested I become a Partners Match peer counselor for Y-ME. What a great idea!
Subsequently, I flew out to attend a peer counselor two-day training in my hometown of Houston . I immediately hit it off with the trainers other attendees from several different states. The weekend was a special opportunity to learn firsthand how the women and men of Y-ME play an important role in the lives of those touched by breast cancer. Their competence and compassion were impressive reminders that no one should face breast cancer alone. Despite being the only man at the training, I quickly realized that my perspective as a spouse was valuable.
After the training (I am always free to decline when my schedule is full), I began to take match calls from partners who had difficulties in one way or another grappling with the diagnosis of their loved ones. From 20-year-old boyfriends with financially-challenged girlfriends in rural areas, to metropolitan 40-something husbands with pregnant wives, my match callers have provided me an opportunity to give emotional support and also impress upon them the positive support they can provide by standing beside their partners no matter what they face together. My sense has been that the people I've talked with have their loved ones' best interests in mind, but also have their own fears to confront before they can provide the unconditional support their loved ones need. The thing I am most struck by is that the survivors are often stronger and braver than their also affected loved ones.
Interested in becoming a Partners Match peer counselor or learning more about the program? Y-ME would welcome your help ensuring that no one - including partners - faces breast cancer alone. For further information, please visit the Volunteer section of the Y-ME Web site.
This article was first printed in the winter 2006 issue of Lifeline.
