Am I Going to Die?

The simple answer to the question is yes, we are all going to die.   There is no doubt, however, that having a cancer diagnosis makes the possibility of death more real and more imminent.  Many breast cancer patients say that the first thing they thought when they heard the words, "you have breast cancer," was that it meant they would die soon.

"When I found the lump," Sammie, a Y-ME Peer Counselor says, "I didn't wait for the diagnosis.  I knew it was cancer and before I even had my first appointment, I had myself dead and in the ground, I had lost the house and I didn't know what would happen to my kids without my being there to raise them."

"I started planning my last Christmas with my kids, our last family vacation.  I expected to die," says Y-ME CEO Cindy Geoghegan who was diagnosed 16 years ago at age 35, when her children were five and seven.

The reality is that for the vast majority of patients diagnosed with breast cancer today, breast cancer is not a death sentence.  Many patients are treated and survive for many years, or the rest of their lives with no recurrence of the disease.  Even patients with advanced or metastatic disease can live with their cancer for long periods of time. While they may face the reality of living with their cancer, they can and often do it make their goal to live as long and as well as they can.

Y-ME Peer Counselors - all of whom have survived breast cancer – offer this advice to patients who are struggling with their fear of dying:

• Understand that fear is a normal response to hearing that you have a serious disease.
• Get the facts about your cancer.  Knowledge truly is power.  The more you know, the more you will feel in control of what is happening to you.
• Understand that breast cancer really is a journey, with many different paths.  No one can predict exactly where yours will take you.
• Talk to people, especially people who have been through breast cancer.  Get emotional support.

Many cancer survivors say that once they got past the initial fear, they began to appreciate life in a new, and much deeper way. 

"Having breast cancer made me realize that none of us control the future," says Dorothy, a long-time survivor and Y-ME Peer Counselor, "but we can control the present.  We can live with breast cancer and really live our lives every day."

Deb, a Y-ME Match Counselor, has been fighting breast cancer for 13 years and metastatic disease for the last 7 years.  She works full time, travels and maintains an active social life with her husband.

"None of us knows how much time we have," she says.  "I need to think of myself as having a chronic disease, and to do whatever I can to mentally keep my life under control.  I want to make the most of the time that I have.  Having cancer has made me realize that life is gift."